


Shower Curtain

by CactusPot



Category: Total Drama
Genre: Extended Families, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 08:06:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13267233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CactusPot/pseuds/CactusPot
Summary: "Oh please, my partner will eat anything! I once saw him eat half a shower curtain.""It had cupcakes on it!"





	Shower Curtain

Noah turned onto the intersection while Owen chattered excitedly next to him.

"This is going to be so fun," Owen giggled. "Weddings are my favorites!"

"Is it because of the food?" Noah deadpanned, his eyes remaining focused on the road.

"What? No! I just love the romance and the happy feelings!” Seeing Noah wasn’t buying his poor defense, Owen sighed sheepishly. “Yeah, it’s ‘cause of the food.”

A few months earlier, Noah’s favorite older cousin, Rhonda, had announced her engagement. Noah had immediately known who he would bring as his plus one.

“By the way,” said Owen, “where’s the rest of your family?”

“My parents flew down yesterday,” Noah answered. “They’re staying at Rhonda’s house with us. I told you that.”

“What about the rest of your siblings?” Owen asked. He rested his head on the dashboard and watched Noah drive. “Don’t you have like, ten?”

“I have eight,” Noah corrected him flatly. “And they’re all gonna be in hotels. Turns out being the youngest has its perks.”  He smirked, and Owen chuckled.

“So, did you pack any snacks?” Owen asked, sitting up again. “My tummy’s really hungry.”  
  
“Cheesy crackers and” —Noah shuddered— “ _pickles_ are in the glovebox, just like you asked.”

“Aw, you remembered!” Owen beamed as he took out the snacks. “You’re the best person in the whole world!” 

“I try,” Noah responded dryly.

“Want any?” Owen waved a pickle slice in front of Noah’s nose.

“Um, no thanks,” Noah answered, waving the offer away. “Your food habits never fail to ruin my appetite.” 

“More for me, then!” Owen slid the pickle into his waiting mouth.

 They pulled into Rhonda’s driveway a few hours later. 

* * *

 “Listen up, O,” Noah said. He paused his unloading and stared Owen directly in the eye. “Please do not eat my cousin out of house and home.”

“You have my word, little buddy!” Owen held up three fingers in scout’s honor. Noah rolled his eyes and lead Owen inside.

“Noah, good to see you.” Rhonda immediately met them at the door. She was tall and stylish, but her small smirk and dark brown hair betrayed her relation to Noah.

“Hi, Rhonda,” Noah answered, walking inside. “It’s been a while.” He set his bags down but made no effort to hug his cousin. It wasn’t their thing. 

“It’s been too long,” Rhonda responded. She turned to the blonde giant behind Noah. “And you must be Owen.”

“Aw, did Noah tell you all about me?” Owen gushed, playfully elbowing Noah.

“I watched Total Drama Island and Total Drama World Tour,” Rhonda answered. “Gotta support my little cuz.” She offered Noah a half-smile.

Rhonda led them into the foyer of her house. Rhonda’s parents and Noah’s parents were sitting inside, chatting amiably.

“Hi Mom and Dad,” Noah said in his usual flat tone. “Hi Aunt Anika and Uncle Rob.”

“Noah!” Aunt Anika waved. “It’s been a while, honey, how have you been?”

“Fine, thanks,” Noah answered.

“Hi Noah’s family!” Owen beamed. “I’m Owen, Noah’s friend.”

“We’ve heard a lot about you,” said Noah’s father. He smiled politely. Noah rolled his eyes again, a reflex motion by that point. His father asked, “How has school been going for you?”

“Uhhhh.” Owen hesitated. “Now when was the last time I actually went to school?...”

“Noah’s always been so academically gifted,” Noah’s mom said, “so it surprised us to see he was befriending those that… aren’t.”

 “Save the questioning for later, alright?” Noah broke in. 

“Yes, why don’t you two get unpacked first,” Rhonda suggested. “You know where the guest room is, right, Noah?” 

“Yep,” Noah replied. “We’ll be right back down.”

Noah went upstairs and set his things down next to the air mattress on the floor. 

“You get the bed, big guy,” Noah stated, gesturing to the neatly made bed at the back of the room. 

“You’re so thoughtful, Noah!” Owen answered. 

“If you took the air mattress you’d break it,” Noah replied tersely. 

Owen set his duffel bag down. “Hey, when are we gonna eat?” 

“My family doesn’t eat. We absorb our food via osmosis.” Noah’s eyes widened as he told the horror story. 

“No hotdogs?” Owen whimpered.

“I’m kidding,” Noah responded, resuming his normal dour expression. “Aunt Anika’s probably gonna set out a cheese platter once we get back down there.”

“Oh, phew!” Owen wiped his brow. “I’m so excited to finally meet your family!”

“You haven’t met them before?” Noah, who had walked out the door, stopped in his tracks. His mind rewound through the past few months, looking for evidence to refute Owen’s statement. “Oh, wow, I guess you haven’t. Well there’s a first for everything.” 

When Noah and Owen returned, there was a new face in the parlor. A young man with trimmed brown hair and peachy skin was standing shoulder to shoulder with Rhonda.

“Noah, you haven’t met Sebastian yet!” Rhonda waved them over when the boys returned. “This is my fiancé, Sebastian.” 

“Pleasure to meet, you,” Noah said, shaking Sebastian’s hand.

“Awesome,” said Sebastian, smiling genially at Noah. “I already met the rest of your siblings; I was wondering when you’d show up.”

“Which one was your favorite? Was it Sharon?” Noah asked, smirking. “She’s a charmer.”

“He’s teasing,” Rhonda said before Sebastian could answer. “Noah’s almost as sarcastic as I am.”

“I’ve seen,” Sebastian answered. “You know, I was watching Total Drama before I began dating Rhonda. When I found out her little cousin was on the show, I was like, _wow_. What a crazy coincidence!” 

“You remind me of Geoff,” Noah stated plainly.

Sebastian and Rhonda both laughed at that.

“What field did you study in college?” Noah asked Sebastian. While the latter explained forensic science, Owen was entertaining Noah’s parents. 

“Sorry for the multiple times I accidentally sat on Noah,” Owen apologized. He had made himself right at home by sitting right between Noah’s mom and dad.

“No harm done,” Noah’s mom said, taking a sip of her wine. She carefully scooted herself towards the end of the couch.

“Ya know, you really raised a great son,” Owen told them enthusiastically. “Noah’s a great pal, and he’s really smart, too.”

“If I had a dollar for every time I heard that, I’d be able to pay for Noah’s college tuition!” Noah’s dad laughed. Owen chuckled, too, though he didn’t fully understand the joke.

Later, Owen and Noah retired to their room. The grownups stayed up, still talking over glasses of wine. 

Noah pulled out his phone and scrolled through his missed messages: twenty from his Siblings group chat, one from Cody, and two from some moron at school who didn’t understand physics homework. Idiots.

“Having fun?” Noah asked as he reread the texts.

“Yeah,” Owen answered, swinging his legs off the side of the bed. He had already peeled off his t-shirt and was tracing the blanket’s flower patterns with his fingers. “Your family is so cool.”

“They’re okay,” Noah replied lazily. He halted his text scanning to pull of his teal and burgundy sweaters. Once he was only wearing his white undershirt, Noah picked up his phone and resumed scrolling. “I could’ve done worse. What about you? Your family doin’ okay?”

“Yep,” Owen answered cheerfully. “I mean, last year things were kinda tough, with the cheese cellar and all. “

“For the love of God, Montresor,” Noah snarked.

“What?”

Noah brushed the question away with a flourish of his hand. “Continue.” 

“Well, my mom decided to start a cheese business in town, to pay off the debt. My little brothers are helping her run it,” Owen continued. 

“Sounds fun. What’s it called?”

“Million Dollar Cheese.”

“Fitting,” Noah said.

“Yeah,” Owen agreed. “I’m not allowed to go down into the cellar, ‘cause I might eat all the cheese and lose revenue.” 

“Hey, you know what would be fun,” Noah joked, “If we went on another reality show, and one of the challenges was to eat cheese. All the cheese. Nothing but cheese.” 

“That would be _amazing_ ,” Owen was practically drooling on the bedspread. Noah decided to ignore the gross factor.

“Total Drama was pathetic,” Noah declared. “I’d like to go on a reality show that actually makes use of my many talents.” 

“We should totally audition for a reality show together,” Owen suggested. “Maybe we could do Murder Kitchen.” 

“You and a cooking shows? Water and oil,” Noah retorted. “It wouldn’t be too bad, going on another show. As long as Eel Man isn’t there.”

The inside joke sent Owen into a fit of giggles. ‘Eel Man’ was their aptly chosen nickname for Alejandro. Noah couldn’t help chuckling as well.

“Alright, Big Guy, I’m gonna get some shut-eye,” Noah said, tucking his phone away. “We’ve got a busy weekend.”

“Okie dokie, Noah!” Owen pulled the covers over his head. “See you tomorrow, Noah!” 

“Good night, Big Guy,” Noah answered, shutting his eyes. He fell asleep, Owen’s less-than-gentle snoring acting as white noise. 

Sometime later, Noah opened his eyes again. The room was swamped in darkness. Noah stared into the darkness, until he realized what was missing. Owen had stopped snoring.

“Owen?” Noah whispered. He were greeted with silence. 

‘Midnight snack’ was Noah’s first thought. Where else would Owen be in the middle of the night? Wait. There _was_ one time Owen had slept walked straight out of Camp Wawanakwa. That was the same night Noah had kissed Cody’s ear. Bad memories. Off topic. He wasn’t going to entertain the thought.

Even if he was only downstairs munching on salsa dip and dry spaghetti, one could never be too careful with Owen. Noah slid off the mattress and walked into the hallway. Noah was confident he wouldn’t wake up anyone; his family was full of deep sleepers. Noah had been one himself, at least until World Tour. Nothing like living in a plane with backstabbing, heartless monsters to keep you on edge.

After Noah’s eyes adjusted to the dark, he honed in on the sliver of light shining dimly through the bathroom door.

Noah walked over, pushed the door open, and immediately did a double take.

Eyes shut, Owen was chewing on the shower curtain. Clearly, eating a shower curtain was Owen’s idea of pure bliss. 

“I shouldn’t be surprised. Yet here I am.”

At the sound of Noah’s voice, Owen’s eyes opened wide. He spit out the curtain and hastily threw it on the ground.

“Noah! Why are you up?” Owen asked, grinning at his best friend sheepishly. “I was just, uh-” 

“I don’t usually _care_ what you eat.” Noah cut him off with a glare. “But my cousin is getting married, so I’d appreciate if you _didn’t_ eat her textiles! Do you think Rhonda wants to worry about replacing a shower curtain when she’s about to get _married_?” Noah’s voice was dangerously low.

Owen chuckled nervously. “Sorry, Noah. I got up to use the bathroom and I, well- it has cupcakes on it, can you blame me?” Owen shoved the curtain into Noah’s face. Indeed, there were pink-frosted cupcakes patterning the curtain.

“Yes, I can,” Noah whispered crossly. “Go put a shirt on.”

“Why?”

“We’re going out to buy a stupid curtain to replace the one _you_ ate. And then we are not going to mention this to anyone. Ever.”

“Uh, Noah?”

“What?”

“Can we stop for McDonald’s?” 

A few minutes later, the boys were back in Noah’s car. Noah turned on the engine and they hit the road.

“I’m sorry that I ate the curtain,” Owen said once they were a few minutes away from Rhonda’s house. He stared at his hands intently, waiting for Noah’s reply. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Noah’s monotone could slice through steel. “If everything went smoothly then it would be a pretty crappy show, wouldn’t it.” 

Owen chuckled hesitantly. “Yeah, I guess we gotta play everything up for the drama. Hey, that would be a good season. Total Drama Weddings!”

“Maybe one day I will look back on this and laugh, but for now, I would like you to be quiet,” Noah said. “Thank you.”

They pulled up to a small shopping center.

“Where can we even find a store open at two in the morning?” Owen asked as they shut the car door.

“I don’t know,” Noah responded. “But if we can’t find a shower curtain, I’ll settle for tequila.” 

Noah walked into the closest lit store, Owen trailing behind him.

“Can I help you?” asked the middle-aged clerk in front of the cash register. His eyes were sunken and tired, and he stared vacantly into space in a zombie-esque trance. 

“Hey, Mr. Skeleton, do you have shower curtains?” Noah asked. 

“Maybe?” the man shrugged. “I can’t recall.” 

“I can’t blame you, you look like you’re about to drop dead,” Noah answered. “By any chance, has your best friend ever defaced your cousin’s house at two in the morning?”

“Not that I can remember,” the old guy said wearily.

“I said I was sorry!” Owen interrupted defensively. 

Noah ignored him and sauntered to the back of the store.

Owen stared at the employee.

“So… read any good books lately?” Owen asked.

The guy shrugged. “I’m just here to pay rent.”

In the back, Noah was rubbing his eyes as he scanned the store for a shower curtain, or anything that could pass as one. 

“Here we go.” Noah pulled a poncho off the shelf. After acquiring a packet of needles and thread, he returned to the cash register. 

“That’s not a shower curtain,” Owen pointed out.

“Thanks, genius,” Noah said dryly. “I figure we can just patch it up until we can get an _actual_ shower curtain. You know, when stores actually open.”

“Good thinking, little buddy,” Owen cheered. 

“I hope your death is swift and painless,” Noah told the cashier before he left the store.

“What?” Owen asked, confused. Noah rolled his eyes. 

“Are we gonna sew it at your cuz’s place or somewhere else?” Owen queried.

“Let’s get back home,” Noah responded wearily. “And then _I_ can start to fix the mess _you_ made.”  
  
“I couldn’t help myself.” Owen poked his fingers together sheepishly. 

Noah sighed, less agitated than weary. “I know.”

The drive back to Rhonda’s house was dead silent. When they arrived, Noah turned on the dimmest lights in the kitchen, retrieved the half-eaten shower curtain from upstairs, and got to work. Owen sat beside him and ate cheese, which was the least-noisy food Noah could scrounge up. 

At some point, Noah fell asleep mid-stitch. When he came to again, he was lying in the guest bed, the covers tucked over his small frame.

“What time is it?” Noah sat up immediately. “What the heck?”   

He pulled on his usual attire and stepped out into the hallway, which was dimly lit. First stop: the bathroom. Noah’s curtain-poncho handiwork was hanging neatly over the shadow. Well, as neatly as it could, considering it looked like a middle-school play costume.

“I don’t remember finishing that,” Noah muttered. He lingered for a moment longer, then went downstairs. Aunt Anika was in the kitchen flipping pancakes.

“Good morning, Noah,” she said cheerfully. “It’s a big day today! Hurry and eat, okay?” 

“Where’s-”

“Your friend Owen went out to shop with your uncle,” Aunt Anika informed him kindly. “And your parents are upstairs getting ready. I told them that they’d have plenty of time, but nope! Two hours is apparently the appropriate amount of time.”

“That’s just weird,” Noah said sullenly. “Owen had pancakes and you still have pancakes leftover?”

“Owen didn’t eat very much,” Aunt Anika said, tapping her chin. “I cooked extra because Rhonda mentioned you said he eats a lot. Anyways, how many do you want?”

“I’ll take three,” Noah said, sitting down at the table. Aunt Anika served him and then left the room.

“Owen not eating? Great, I probably traumatized him last night,” Noah muttered. “Good going.”  He took a large bite out of his pancakes. Noah _never_ passed up Aunt Anika’s pancakes; his own mother’s cooking was on par with Chef. 

A few minutes later, Uncle Rob pulled up into the driveway with Owen in the passenger seat. 

“We’re back!” Owen giggled, shuffling back into the house.

“There you are, big guy,” Noah said as he slid his dirty dishes into the sink.  
  
“No time for chit chat, kids,” Uncle Rob announced, tapping his watch. “We should all get ready.”

“Ah yes, my favorite part of weddings, itchy tuxes,” Noah answered dryly. “Come on, Owen.” He trudged up the staircase. Owen followed, more subdued than he had been moments ago.

“How was shopping with my uncle?” Noah asked. He pulled out the suit he had packed.

“It was fun,” Owen answered, perking up. “He has a lot of fun jokes. Oh, and also he bought chocolate milk for your _other_ little cousins. You never told me you had, like, twenty seven!”

“That’s just on my dad’s side.” Noah smirked.

Before he could broach the topic of their earlier adventure, Noah’s dad knocked on the door. “Son, you and Owen should ride with your aunt and uncle to the wedding. Is that alright?”

“Fine by me,” Noah replied. He turned to Owen, who was still struggling to get on his pants.

“How are you ready so fast?” Owen gasped.

Noah shrugged. They could talk later. 

Ten minutes later, they were sitting in the back of the car on the way to the church. Five minutes after that, they were sitting in a pew, waiting for the ceremony to begin. Noah strolled down the side aisle to where his siblings and their various dates were sitting. 

“Hey Noah,” said his older sister, Sharon, as they slid into the pew. “Couldn’t find a girlfriend for this, huh? Oh well, maybe next year.”

Noah shrugged apathetically. “Meh. Not like you’re doing any better.” He eyed the girl next to Sharon, who was applying lip gloss in a compact mirror. 

“At least my friends have class,” Sharon answered, patting his hair affectionately. Sharon was sweet  just as often as she was a pain. 

From his aisle seat, Owen waved benignly.

“What, you’re not gonna ask my sister out?” Noah asked. “Call her hot and all that? She’s way younger than Blaineley, you still have a shot.” He chuckled.

“Uhhhhh.” Owen bit his lip. “I don’t think you’d want that.” 

Noah rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” 

The wedding went off without a hitch. Though he had been subdued all day, Owen still managed to cry when Rhonda and Sebastian kissed. Even Noah cracked a happy smile.

“You excited for the reception, Noah?” Sharon asked, elbowing him on the way out. 

“Yes, of course. Dancing and food, the regular high school experience,” Noah answered wryly. 

“That was beautiful,” Owen cried, wiping a tear out of his eye. He looked down at Noah and then quieted. “Oops, sorry.”

“By all means, continue to cry,” Noah answered. “I’ll just build an ark.” Then he laughed at his own joke.

The next few hours were… boring. More boring than the usual monotone of Noah’s daily life. He spent the next few hours reading in the guest room. Uncle Rob attempted to teach Owen the ins and outs of chess, to no avail. From his room, Noah could hear Owen’s cries of defeat after each piece he lost.

“Great to know Owen’s spending more time with my uncle than me,” Noah muttered, turning a page in his book. 

Eventually, the sun set and it was time for the reception. Noah and Owen drove to the venue, talking about maple syrup the entire way down.

“I’m just saying,” Owen said, “that maybe we should make the national food _blueberry_ maple syrup. Or something.” He giggled nervously. 

“That is a very necessary change,” Noah said.

Once they were inside, Noah was pulled away from Owen. He ended up dancing with his second-cousin’s niece’s boyfriend for a solid five minutes. After that encounter, he had the unfortunate luck of dancing with all eight of his siblings.

When Sharon finally released Noah from her relentless teasing, he walked over to the food side of the room. It was easy to pick out Owen’s blonde mop in the crowd. Owen was sitting at a table with a surprisingly small plate of cookies. 

“Hey, big guy,” Noah said, sitting down beside Owen. “Can’t help but noticing you haven’t eaten much, and I’m starting to worry you’re dying or something.”

“Oh no, I’m perfectly fine,” Owen answered quickly. He laughed. “Just don’t want to cause another mess, that’s all.”

“Listen, Owen. When you ate that shower curtain, I was annoyed. It was way too early, and I was a total grumpy pants,” Noah explained, dumbing down his vocabulary. “But I’m not _mad_ at you. Your gross obsession with food is a trait to which I’ve grown accustomed.”

“Really?” Owen asked, tilting his head to the side.

“Yes,” Noah responded. “Go and eat as much food as you want. Key word being ‘food’. Not a freakin’ tablecloth.”

“Are you _sure_?” There was a puddle of drool forming on Owen’s lower lip.

“Do you think I would’ve invited you if I wasn’t prepared for you to eat the whole banquet?” Noah smiled dryly. “Please go eat so I can stop feeling worried. It’s a terrible thing, to care about other people.” 

“Alright!” Owen jumped up and pumped his fists in the air. “I am _starving_!” He made a beeline for the buffet line.

Noah watched for a moment, then swiveled around in his seat. He came face to face with Rhonda.

“Congrats, cuz,” Noah said, his expression unflinching.

“Thank you.” Rhonda smiled briefly, then sat down next to him. “By the way, I was meaning to talk to you about the monstrosity in my bathroom.”

“Uh, yeah. I was gonna tell you about that,” Noah answered, looking back at the food table. “It’s just temporary. I can buy you a new one. Great wedding present, am I right?”

“Don’t worry about it, Noah,” Rhonda replied. “I’ve got it covered.”

Noah looked back at her. She raised an eyebrow. “Next time, please keep your boyfriend from eating my curtains.”

Noah smirked, ready to point out the obvious error in her statement. “You just got married and you’re already planning the second wedding?” 

Rhonda’s expression mirrored her cousin’s. “Never hurts to be prepared.” She stood, patted Noah’s shoulder, then returned to the dance floor.

Owen plopped down in his seat. He set down a platter laden with sausage, pasta, potatoes, cake, and every other type of food that had been served.

“Can I ask you something?” Owen said.

“Shoot,” Noah responded.

“Do you ever talk to the bathroom mirror like you’re in a confessional? ‘Cause I got so used to that on Total Drama.”

Noah stared into space as if there was a camera watching them at that very moment. “...All the time.”


End file.
